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March 18th, 2010

The Two Sharply Divergent Sides of @DeepakChopra

[Photo by Pr Photos] Oh stop worrying about it. Deepak has so much perfect karma, the force of darkness stands little chance. So back in the 1990s, I was a huge Deepak fan. He always said just the right things. For Pete’s sake, Oprah LOVES THIS GUY! He’s one of Oprah’s Favorite Things! And wow. Last year, I got on Twitter and he was one of the first people I followed. This was before I realized celebrities could actually hear and respond to something you say on Twitter. A week or so passes.

Now wait. Before I go any further, let me throw out a few words that describe the way I viewed Deepak before I found him on Twitter. Polished. Brilliant. Progressive. He’s the guy who just has it all figured out! I once used his mind control techniques to make a string move without moving my hand. Friggin’ genius! He’s written 30-40 books. This guy is accomplished.

Ok back to Twitter. I’m enjoying Deepak’s Tweets. But I start to notice bizarre statements.  And TYPOS. I don’t have a problem with the occasional typo, I have them myself. I certainly don’t care if the average person is making a few typos. However. If a person has been on the NY Times Bestseller List and makes more than one typo a week, I’m irritated. Because that tells a story. It means, this guy can’t write! And if he can’t write, how is he getting publishing deals? I know! He assembles an incoherent manuscript. Since his books sell, the publisher can easily afford to put a team of writers and editors on the job and basically go in and clean up the mess. Rewrite sentences. Clarify concepts. Correct typos. By the time they’re done, we have a virtual masterpiece. And Deepak gets all the credit.

Let’s take a look at some of Deepak’s Twitter masterpieces. These are all direct quotes. Nothing has been changed. And I don’t buy for a second that these statements are so profound they need to be studied and analyzed for meaning.  My comments in parenthesis.

Infinite flexibility is the secret of immortality (So THAT’S the secret. Which explains why only vampires are immortal.)

Death is the ticket to life, not dying cells are cancer cells (Huh? I’ve got nothing.)

The only cells that don’t die are cancer cells. It is throgh death that we renew ourselves (Typo. So in other words, cancer cells are immortal. They are flexible.)

There is no quest. Consciousness being non local is immortal (I guess my quest to finish this article is immortal.)

If you say “I am a liar ” then you are telling the truth when you”re lying and lying when you”re telling the truth (Yea. Probably.)

The subject-object split, which is the basis of current science is artificial. Nature is one process. (Well, how can anything be artificial if everything is natural I ask?)

Elementary particles, the building blocks of the universe are possibility waves in consciousness until the moment of observation (So I guess seeing is believing.)

Feb. 6, 2010

Your ears do not sense sound just silent pressure waves which it converts to electricial signals to the brain. Where is the sound? (Typo. The sound is in the same place as the sight – your brain dummy.)

The brain senses only chemicals and electricity and ph and temperature all internal states. Where is the world? (Open your eyes. That’s the world.)

Your eyes do not “see” material objects. They sense invisible photons . Your brain receives these as electricity.  Where are the objects? (Right there.)

If both mind and matter are created and exist in consciosness how come mind is experiened as inner and matter as outer? (Typo. Typo. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.)

I will send gifts to whoever offers the most insightful answer to the inner outet dilemma in last question (Then you put your book editors on it. And you make a million dollars. Then the biggest question ever asked has been answered – Why are we here? You lazy bum.)

None of your senses percieves a world, only vibrations sent as electricity to the brain. Where is the world ? (Typo. I before “e,” except after “C”! Where isn’t the world?)

OUCH !:) RT @Symbolman: While i appreciate @DeepakChopra I still have this irrational need to kick him square in the balls. (He’s showing us he can take a joke. Good. Read this article and don’t whine.)

Certainty is a cruel uncreative mind set and kills what is possible” (I’m certain that you’ll think I’m cruel, but definitely creative.)

Back to me.

Of course, since I can’t just sit still and shut up, I make a comment to Deepak thinking he can’t see my Tweet. He DMs me. I didn’t even know what a DM was at the time. He called me an angry person. I basically said I wasn’t, and that he’s an idiot or something. And went along with my day. A week later, I thought, I haven’t seen a single Deepak Tweet in a long time. I figured out, DEEPAK CHOPRA BLOCKED ME!

Deepak meanders along only listening to messages of pure, unadulterated hero worship. The way he likes it.

[Thanks to @LynnNChicago on Twitter for sending these quotes over!]





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