June 13th, 2012

Daily Digest — Jeel Zarun Tries to Unring a Bell


Patrick "Bobby Ewing" Duffy, Jeel "Linda Gray" Zarun, and Larry "JR" Hagman

Let’s go straight to the ratings for this week’s highly anticipated episode of the Real Housewives of NYC (well, anticipated for the ratings, not the actual show). As I predicted last week, the ratings for this week’s episode of the show dropped. People tuned in the first week for the curiosity factor (if they tuned in at all), realized the show is on the boring side, then decided not to hang around. Last week’s episode had 1.66 million viewers and this week’s episode had 1.43 million viewers. That’s a drop in 230,000 viewers if my math is correct. From an advertising and Bravo TV standpoint, there has to be some panic in the air. The show technically is no longer what I’d call a flagship show, but just a “regular” Bravo show. These numbers aren’t quite as low as the average ratings for second tier Bravo shows like Watch What Happens Live, Million Dollar Listing, Millionaire Matchmaker or Interior Therapy With Jeff Lewis. But if this decline goes much further, that’s what we’ll be dealing with. Not horrible numbers for a Bravo show, but for a Real Housewife show, it’s basically a total disaster. Considering those second tier Bravo shows have smaller casts and lower budgets, they may not be able to justify the salaries for six Real Housewives. I have to ask, what is Bravo planning on doing about this? The cast reboot obviously did the opposite of what they were trying to accomplish. Though I’m not sure keeping the original cast would have been any better.

There is one person who stands to benefit from this ratings collapse – Jeel Zarun of Skquish Couture fame. And Jeel has a solution!

In a moment of craziness last night (a moment you’re saying? Isn’t it more of a lifestyle), Jeel posted a blog on her website with an analysis of the second episode of the Real Housewives of NYC. Then two hours later, quickly removed it. Now, when someone who pretty much always writes only crazy stuff, if she decides it’s too crazy to be seen and must be pulled, that really catches my attention. The best way to make sure everyone sees what you don’t want them to see is to abruptly hide it, then officially make a Twitter announcement that you’ve hidden away your maniacal rantings. Which makes me tell everyone on Twitter. And once you ring a bell on Twitter, it can’t be unranged. (I made up that word.)

Once you publish something on a website, Google stows that page away in its archives. In other words, it never goes away. Lucky for me. Let me summarize and pull out the best quotes from her blog posting, then you’ll understand why there’s a photo of the Dallas retirees above. Now this is all before she knew about today’s ratings drop, so it makes the entire situation even more twisted.

-On Ramona: “Since I know the REAL truth..watching Sonja hit on the contractor ,Luann forgive Ramona…after they both admitted they don’t really like each other, Ramona has called her daughter a drug addict, Luann a whore on and on. Ramona a drunk .they hug and make up. How SICK is it and how unreal because if I had to accept that they would forgive each other so quickly after they have each said the most hateful, heinous things to each other, makes me want to vomit.”

-Jeel notes that Jewish Journal blogger Iguana Angel will no longer be covering the Real Housewives of NYC (and this blogger is her biggest fan, who will say only good things about Jeel now?) Iguana states: This is my last blog on this nightmare.  The originals are tired, the new ones are pathetic, the fired ones are missed, and Bravo is not capable of keeping it real.

Back to Jeel

“I know many of you have said you watched the first episode and won’t watch again..or didn’t watch any of the season..or watch it and feel guilty. Please know how I understand how you feel.” That isn’t exactly sucking up to Bravo, the ones you want to rehire you. You’re supposed to act like you actually want the ratings to stay high, but that they could go even higher if they hire you back. Please read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. A used copy is available for one penny on Amazon, plus shipping. Required reading in many colleges, it might teach you the art of the velvet glove.

“I am sure you have heard by now that the rating were down 200,000. Actually there is a website called www.bravoratings.com that analyze all the rating since the beginning. It was very cool to see it all in writing and many people in reality television will be waiting anxiously for tonights ratings to come out.” Making sure everyone knows how much the ratings suck without her on the show. And here’s the data to back up those claims.

-And here’s an example of what Jeel wants to happen to this show. It’s not the show, it’s the PEOPLE on the show.  “is the cast critical to the success of a show. Remember Dallas? ( probably not!) Well it’s back BTW. One season was completely erased and called “The Dream” season because the rumor was they fired Bobby Ewing who was rumored wanted too much money and then when the fans backlashed against the network with a Boycott, call in. write in campaign ( there were no blogs, emails, tweets or Facebook back in the OLD DAYS) . The had to “eat crow” and bring back Bobby with a huge raise.

This is Jeel’s way of saying, we both realize you made a terrible mistake firing me. But there is a solution. It simply involves hiring her back on the show for Season 6. Season 5 is just a terrible nightmare, and we’ll all wake up. Oh and by the way, she wants a raise for all the grief you put her through.

To the decline in viewership, she goes on to say:  “Also…what will they do next season? Will they recast again? Bring back all or some of this cast? A lot of decisions are riding on the success or failure of RHNYC Season 5. The question is..does anyone care anymore? Is the “party” over? Can you ever get back or “go back” to what was “television Magic” the original cast? Did they change too many cast members at once.”

Bravo – do you care? Well, it seems like Jeel even thinks her fans could help push Bravo along with this decision. Why doesn’t she hire someone to start a petition for her? That would give Bobby Zarun something to do this weekend.

“If you are even thinking that the cast could be asked back..the fans would have do pull off a DALLAS move. I am certainly not advocating anything..just thinking of all the scenarios out loud.”

It certainly sounds like she is advocating something. The real question in my mind is, would bringing Jeel back to the show actually bump up the ratings for more than an episode or two? Then after the curiosity factor wears off, they’re right back where they start from. Big, risky gamble from Bravo‘s point of view. Or is the fact she’s such a complete hot mess the reason people talk about the show and actually remember to watch it? Will there be meetings and focus groups at Bravo? Will Iguana Angel write another Real Housewives of NYC blog on the show if Jeel returns next year?

I can’t ever remember anyone making such a public spectacle out of themselves, which could be a good thing for all the wrong reasons. Who knows. Some of the craziest personalities get good ratings. Do I subconsciously want Jeel back on Bravo because it’s good for blogging? After all, every time I mention something about JZ on Twitter, my timeline goes crazy. Mostly outrage, but I take what I can get.

In other news.

PaNeNe Leakes is starting a fashion line. Hopefully she used the She by Sheree line as a warning – make sure your fashion show has clothes.

Cat Ommanney from DC Housewives called Jeel Zarun’s blog rant “sad.”

Kim Zolciak’s mother threatens to burn down her daughter’s house on her wedding day because she wants to use the indoor bathroom. I’m betting her mother will be on the next season of Kim’s solo show. This kind of crazy always makes for good TV.

Jeel Zarun wishes Bethenny well on her new talk show. Bethenny responds by ignoring her.

Alexis Bellino sits on a wine glass.

Pre-modeling photos of Countess LuMann – complimentary blood pressure screenings available.

The Countess unfollowed Jeel Zarun on Twitter? Oh the drama.

And don’t forget to watch the circus Friday, June 15 on HSN – Jeel Zarun will be selling Skquish Couture LIVE. Make sure you have your horror stories memorized and call the show. If I don’t forget, I’ll be live Tweeting this “event.” You know something crazy is sure to happen.


Photo by PR Photos

One Comment

  1. Donna

    Patrick Duffy’s parents were murdered, that is why he took time off.

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