Married In A Year is the name of this show. Bold premise. Let me start this review by showing you a photo I took of the closing credits to this “movie.” They spelled Patti’s name wrong! You know it’s a bad sign when either you don’t notice your own name is spelled wrong, or the people working for you don’t know how to spell your name.
For the life of me, I can’t figure out why Patti felt the need to produce this in the first place. Maybe she has bills to pay? This certainly can’t be a good career move. The show popped up as a recommendation for me on Netflix, so I figured why not rent it. I had seen Patti promoting this like crazy with giveaways a few months ago on Twitter. It’s not really a movie. I actually can’t even describe what it is. She set up a camera at a speaking event, kind of in a play format and she narrates. She goes through all of the rules she talks about on her Millionaire Matchmaker show, but has various couples acting out possible scenarios to demonstrate how the woman is supposed to react. And these scenarios are so awkwardly written and acted it is excruciating to watch. It’s not even so bad it can be watched as a comedy. It’s worse! Pretty much the entire movie is one awkward situation followed by another. At one point she brings two women to the stage to do harsh critiques of their appearances. You know, so they can figure out why they’re single. And it’s because they picked the wrong floral print dress and their hair needs a different cut. Everything you’re doing is wrong – but you have pretty eyes! There is a place in the world for image coaching, but I see it more as a career move than a dating primer. You can’t wear Spanx on your honeymoon, at some point, you have to let go of the smoke and mirrors and be yourself.
There was also a table of 4 men in a bar and Patti used them for dating and marriage analysis, so women can get into the minds of men (to begin their manipulation). I could tell you right now, the two men on the left were players and would be looking for the next best flavor of the month for at least another 10 years. Then they might possibly be dating material. The two guys on the right were good marriage material, they were just BORING and unattractive. They would likely propose within a week if they could get an “L.A. 8” to say yes to the dress. They are single because they aren’t rich enough to afford a gold digger yet. Be patient gentlemen.
The overall feel to Patti’s techniques appears as if women need to trick men into a process that ultimately leads to marriage with one year. If there isn’t an engagement within the year, the woman needs to take off and find a new victim. I think part of the problem is that there is so much overanalysis that dating becomes laborious. How did so many billions of couples manage to find each other and stay married for so many years? A lot of dating is pure common sense. If you’re dating a loser, someone crazy, someone who is always broke, a wishy-washy flake, etc. etc., why waste the time? Be reasonable in dating, that’s the secret to success. Enjoy your singlehood and all the freedom that comes with it. Unclench the grip of control. Let things be organic and natural. It’s not like the world is underpopulated and we need you to start having babies to save the human race.
If you’re ever thinking about renting this or buying it, do NOT. DO NOT. I can at least write about how terrible it is. But you will never get back your time and money, and you just might end up single for the rest of your life! [Photo by PR Photos]
p.s. If you look at Patti’s Twitter account, you’ll see a copy of this dvd cover in place of her photo. So you recognize it when you see it so you don’t accidentally buy it.